He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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