What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
