I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
