I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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