i don't like sucking hair
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize