Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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