Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
