Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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