i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
