You really coming over, don't trick.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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