so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
