So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Randomize
