Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
