whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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