would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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