I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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