spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We are two peas in an std pod
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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