This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
