So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
