I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
