You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
