Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
