giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did i just pee glitter
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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