me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
