guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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