Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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