I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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