So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
