It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
