Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize