Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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