She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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