Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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