I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize