bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
