I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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