My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
