After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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