Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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