I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The adults are the big ones right?
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