3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
