areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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