i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
