i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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