Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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