sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize