I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
