Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
