I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's the barista slut.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
