Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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