We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
