and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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