That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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