There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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