Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
