And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
