I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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